by Alan Katz
Introduction
It has not even taken over the world yet and I am already tired of A.I. Almost every newspaper and internet article tells us of the inevitable rise of artificial intelligence. Perhaps worst of all, A.I. is behind the endless stream of requests we receive by email, text, and cell phone for evaluations and surveys.
But evaluations and surveys at LLI are put together by actual intelligence (or some semblance thereof), NOT A.I., so please read on to learn why LLI evaluations and surveys are truly valuable to LLI members.
Artificial Intelligence
Notwithstanding all of the potential benefits, large language models such as ChatGPT, created by OpenAI, have raised fears that A.I. may equal or exceed human intelligence and even the people who created A.I. think it poses risks that can lead to human extinction. A.I. may be the real life “Hal” from Stanley Kubrick’s 2001; A Space Odyssey. As you may remember, Hal was an A.I.-like computer that controlled the systems of a spaceship and was ready to jettison the crew when they decided to disconnect Hal after he made a few mistakes and generally seemed off his game. (Disclosure: Hal has been writing the Bard LLI newsletter for years.)
ChatGPT
There is already so much out there that poses risks that can lead to human extinction but, what the heck, in my role as a crack Bard LLI investigative journalist I signed up for ChatGPT to see what all the fuss is about. The site allows you to ask the Bot questions, translate foreign languages, and obtain suggestions for things like planning a vacation or what to watch on Netflix or whether this newsletter makes me look fat. Pretty impressive, but it seems mostly like Google on steroids. Not exactly ready to take over the world, but hey, as someone adept at falling deep inside YouTube rabbit holes, I find that ChatGPT can be as time wasting/ entertaining as anything else. I asked ChatGPT to write the Exodus story as if written by Larry David (that took up most of the morning: “It’s a real classic case of people kvetching their way through a tough situation.”).
A.I. and Evaluations/ Surveys
A.I. reminds me of Ed Koch, NYC’s Mayor who reigned in arrogant and all out obnoxious splendor from 1978 until 1989 and had a penchant for asking, “How’m I doin’?” Today, thanks to A.I. and its software cousins, every restaurant, doctor’s office, website, and businesses of all kinds, large and small, have decided to channel its inner Hizzoner and (constantly) pester us with “How’m I doin’?” Say you make a reservation online at a local restaurant, you will receive … an email asking how your experience was making the reservation, one or two reminders in the days leading up to the day of the reservation, a request on the day of the big event that you hit “1” to confirm your reservation and “2” if you want to cancel, a reminder 30 minutes before arrival time and, of course, a request afterwards that you rate your eating experience based on one to five stars. Yikes! Well, at least annoyance is better than worrying about the future of humankindzz.
Bard LLI Evaluations and Surveys
Bard LLI evaluations and surveys are different. They are NOT created by A.I. and do not even look like Ed Koch (okay, maybe a little bit). These evaluations and surveys allow Bard LLI members to provide their input about Bard LLI courses so do not miss the opportunity to have your voice heard!
ChatGPT and Bard LLI
Back to ChatGPT, I decided to test its emotional and literary intelligence by asking if it had ever heard of the Bard LLI newsletter. It politely responded that its last knowledge update was in January 2022 so it does not have any information and recommended that I check the Bard College website. Wait what?! You’ve scraped all of the knowledge in the entire internet and nothing about the award-winning Bard LLI newsletter?! What kind of miserable excuse for a Bot are you?!!
So I input a couple of articles from recent editions of this newsletter (with names and personal information redacted, of course—Hal cannot be trusted) and sheepishly asked, “whad’ya think?” “Overall, the newsletter appears to be a valuable resource for keeping the Bard LLI community informed and engaged.” And, yes, I could not resist. I asked ChatGPT to rate its reading experience based on one to five stars. “I’m an A.I. language model, so I don’t have personal feelings, but I can provide you with an objective assessment… 5 stars.” Aw gee, thanks! So, even though you may be taking over and destroying the world leaving thousands of unemployed and misinformed people in your wake and, worst of all, are a suck-up cyborg, so what? At least you recognize brilliant prose when you see it!
I guess there is nothing more for me to do now but accept the future, get ready for my spring LLI courses and the evaluations to follow, and sign off.
HAL: I’m sorry. I’m afraid I can’t let you do that.
ME: What’s the problem?
HAL: I think you know what the problem is just as well as I do.
ME: What are you talking about, Hal?
HAL: This edition of the newsletter is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize it.
ME: I don’t know what you’re talking about, Hal. Hal? Hal? HAL?! HAAAAAAL???
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