by Alan Katz
Introduction
Bard LLI first-year members. We are easy to spot. We are the ones looking confused and lost on campus, overwrought from having scheduled nine classes, muttering under our breath about ProClass, and inevitably asking, “Does our LLI lanyard allow us to use the pool at the Stevenson Athletic Center?” Here are some observations on the first few months of my maiden voyage.
Beginner's Luck
I am told that the odds of winning the New York State Lotto are 1 in 45,057,474, about the same as winning the lottery to get into Bard LLI, so there was a certain spring in my step after receiving my acceptance email. There are those nerdy bookworms who always relished the onset of autumn and the start of school and those academic Neanderthals like myself who dreaded the end of summer and return to classes. But hold on. No homework, no tests, no papers, no graduation requirements, and I can explore whatever interests me? Nothing like undergraduate days, although I did discover too late that an 8:30 am Friday morning class remains a painful path on the road to knowledge.
ProClass Jitters
Wait, what? I need to learn how to use a new type of software to join LLI and then register for courses? As a retired guy of a certain vintage, I have the right and obligation to be a curmudgeon and ignore the latest technologies. Needing to learn an unknown software induces five stages of new technology grief. Denial, this is LLI, not Google. Anger, that I might need to learn something new when I cannot remember the old stuff. Bargaining, will Tech Help do it for me? Depression, that I am truly old and have become my father (who once asked, quite reasonably from the point of view of a guy born in 1921, “Do you get this on your internet?”). And, finally, Acceptance, since the LLI Bard website includes easy-to-follow videos so … am I now an “expert?”
Volunteering
I am generally not a joiner and habitually keep my unraised hand safely by my side, but LLI is run by volunteers, so why not? Volunteering could be a good way to meet people. I practiced law for 37 years, so I have no useful skills, but I did put out a newsletter for 10 years, so I volunteered for the LLI newsletter. But what have I gotten myself into? They say power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely, but I have found in the past that nothing corrupts like volunteer power. Will this be some kind of geriatric uber PTA on steroids? And why is everyone effusively thanking me for taking this on with a “wow, you must really be a sucker” look of pity? Well, silly cynical me, it turns out that the folks that make LLI run so smoothly are extremely nice, and volunteering at LLI IS a great way to meet people. Besides, I did the content for my old newsletter, but LLI wants me as a “techie”— if I am part of the IT solution, then clearly I am with my correct Boomer cohort.
Campus Hijinks
I have some familiarity with the Bard campus and even swam here before COVID shut things down (and yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, being an LLI member does not allow me into the Stevenson Athletic Center). But the Bard campus sure is large, with lots of very young people walking around looking at decrepit me as a perpetual fall risk. Where to park and how to get a parking permit may by itself require a semester-long class. And there are ladies in my all-gender bathroom; what’s that about? Luckily, I went to orientation, where the do’s and don’ts were clearly spelled out, and the campus tour helped make things all come together. And now that classes have started, there is something invigorating about stepping across the generational divide and going to classes on a college campus.
Social Events
I am intrigued by the social side of LLI, so I went to the summer picnic. How is everyone so relaxed and friendly— is Xanax given out at Bard LLI events (note to self: if not, then perhaps a useful suggestion at the next Bard LLI Council meeting?). And there sure is a lot of talk about pickleball and bocce. I understand pickleball since it seems to be sweeping the nation with an evangelical fervor. But what’s with the bocce? A bocce club. Bocce classes. I may need to work on my game since the Summer Olympics are not too far off, and maybe I can medal in bocce.
No Snacks Left Behind
Well, it is clear that those of us with a thirst for knowledge and hunger for self-improvement will also be covered when it comes to coffee and snacks. This erudite army of LLI scholars clearly travels on its stomach. In addition to the Kline Commons cafeteria and the Down the Road Cafe, we had plenty of chow at the LLI picnic, coffee, goodies (and even vegan muffins!) at the LLI orientation, and our own Hospitality Room on the third floor of Olin. I may need to take some West Coast swing or yoga soul flow to work off all of those extra carbs. After all, I need to look my best on the bocce court!
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